By Kirk McCarley
Traditionally the holidays are a time to reflect on families, friends, and blessings. It’s an opportunity to share stories…and laugh. The spirit of laughter and comedy prompted an observation and a few tales, some personal and others from the separate worlds of church and human resources.
Merry Christmas…and enjoy.
The observation: As we head into the winter months many of our friends further north begin to deal with the perils of navigating winter driving conditions. Especially in some of the areas of the Mid-South where frozen precipitation is a less common occurrence and road clearing equipment is rare, one of the most oft heard refrains is, “people just don’t know how to drive in the snow and ice around here.” When I’ve asked the question, “where is it then that people know to how drive?,” I’ve yet to receive a confident reply. What about you?
As a former Human Resources professional I appreciate these tidbits:
“An individual applied for a customer service job, and when asked what he might not like about the job, he said, ‘Dealing with people.’”
“I had somebody list their prison time as a job.”
“Someone once blew her nose and lined up the used tissues on the table in front of her.” Gross!
“We ask prospective job applicants at our business to fill out a questionnaire. For the line ‘Choose one word to summarize your strongest professional attribute,’ one woman wrote, ‘I’m very good at following instructions.’”
“A guy once talked during the interview about how an affair cost him a previous job.”
Amusing anecdotes can be gleaned from of all places, the church, where not only is the order of worship listed in the bulletin, but often information about upcoming events as well. A couple that may have raised a few eyebrows:
“The Pastor would like to announce the formation of a group for new mothers. All women desiring to be a part of the new mother’s group are invited to join the Pastor in his study after the worship service.”
Or this one: “Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.”
How ‘bout this misprint: “Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.”
Here are some announcements that were verbally communicated at worship service:
“This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the Altar.”
“This afternoon there will be a baptismal service in both the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.”
“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”
Finally, one from my personal inventory:
Back in the day of full-service gas stations, my Brother-In-Law at the time attempted a prank at the naïveté of my sister. As part of an errand list he suggested she take her car to the service station and request the attendant bleed the air out of her tires and replenish them with new fresh air, remarking that it is a common maintenance practice to do so. Upon arrival and my sister making her wishes known, the quick thinking employee recognized the ruse and asked for her husband’s phone number. Calling, his statement and question to him: “It’s good to have a regular air maintenance schedule for your tires. Now exactly what kind of new air would you like?” Had!
Here’s wishing that the air you breathe and in your tires is fresh and new and that your holidays are filled with joy and laughter!
A graduate of the University of North Texas, Kirk McCarley is a Certified Professional Coach as well as a Professional in Human Resources (PHR) and SHRM-CP Certified. He also is a Production Assistant for both college football and basketball for ESPN and leads group cycling classes as a Certified Spinning instructor. Contact email@example.com, theseedsowercoach.com, or call 314-677-8779.
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