Pat McAlpine | Snowbird Sillies

GOLF IS A LOT LIKE TAXES! WE DRIVE HARD TO GET TO THE GREEN AND THEN WIND UP IN THE HOLE!

Isn’t golf a lovely game? We can hit a Titlist from the tee and play a Noodle from the rough!

I go swimming once or twice daily, either that, or use a new golf ball.

Golfers’ Diet — stay on the greens!

Only the very best golfers get to play in the Masters in Augusta! Every time they address the ball, here comes “A- Gust-A” Wind.

Never pick up a lost ball on the golf course until it stops rolling.

Golf is a lot of walking broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic!

 I asked my golf pro how I could cut 6 strokes off my golf game and she said, “quit after 17 holes.”

Golf is a game where we yell “fore, shoot six and write down five!”

I went golfing and tried to shoot my age. But instead, I shot my weight.

I stopped playing golf with bankers! Every time I yell “fore,” he yells, “closure!”

I’m getting pretty good at golf now. I can hit the ball almost as far as I can throw my clubs.

The difference between golf and bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball!

I’m not saying that my golf game went bad, but, if I grew tomatoes, they would come up sliced.

Thank goodness I work out in the gym daily! The divots that I take are getting heavier than ever!

My golf game improves when I have control of the score card.

After the honeymoon, the new wife told the husband,” I think it is time you stop playing golf. As a matter of fact, you might as well sell your clubs.” The hubby replied, “You are starting to sound like my Ex-wife.” She was startled with that and said, “I thought you said you were never married before.” Hubby replied, “I wasn’t!”

 PUNNY GOLF SONGS:

This sand is your sand this sand is my sand!

Thank God I’m a country club boy!

Fairway to Heaven

Harper Valley PGA

Love is a Many Splendored Ping

When you Wish Upon A Par

Bye, Bye Birdie